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Friday, November 26, 2010

i miss you

i miss the days where we would be happy with each other's company
i miss waiting for the time to past faster so that i can go home to you
i miss the 1st day u cling onto my arm and walked down to the balloons with me
i miss the 1st time i bought you an ice dessert
i miss the 1st time you sat in my old car
i miss the 1st time you fell asleep lying on my fat shoulder in the car
i miss the 1st time you dreamt and held my hand
i miss the 1st time we laughed and had fun
i miss the 1st time you asked me to stay
i miss you so badly now...
even if it was just a few hours that we were away..
i miss you.. did you ever miss anything about me?
= )

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

gotta let it out somewhere...

all i know of is here..
relying on technology.. kinda sucks in the long run..
her? her... always been it...
bt not...
im not, i know, she knows.. but not everybody..
she's a bz person..
has to take care of how everybody feels..
i better get bz too..
if not... she'll be the one to take the hit..
yeah.. just like wad i expected again...
something she's been keeping..

thing is...
with so many friends around..
im still kinda alone..
i call them gossip friends..
come together and gossip ..
you have ppl that wana care...
yeah... they may be guys that wants to get u..
bt at least you have those kinds...
me? NONE!!!

wadever... i seem to use this word often lately..
yeah... i dont want to care... even when i always do..

everything is a repetition..
wadever...
last thing i have to tell myself..
I'LL GIVE U SPACE!!!!!
gonna isolate myself... FOR GOOD


Friday, November 12, 2010

i know...
me being angry will be the last thing you need for a situation you have now..
because i know what it feels like when people around leaves you alone...
you're away from home now...
i said i'd be your family here..
and i'll be your support...
so im here... ... ...
keeping my promises...
for now... i'll still be around to keep you going..
hopes for myself to be better in doing this for you..
keep it up my friend...
i still love you for better and for worst

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

i have not much close friends..
i fail in everything i put effort in..
studies.. are just average...
luck... no such thing...
life... getting hard...
love... sucks everytime..
me... i dont have any other excuse for myself!!
yah... im a brat... an asshole... a failure... fat...lazy...
im selfish... im immature... im not a guy...
im not determined... i forget my roots... i dont know how to talk ...
or do right things at a right time.. im annoying.. i dont listen well
a 3 minute heater..not a motivator..
make all the wrong decisions..
cant make things right...

but despite all the above... you still tolerate with me...
i know you're tired...
tired of me as well...
so i'll keep quiet..
and do as u like

Monday, November 1, 2010

so yeah...
just as i expected for something to happen..
no matter how much it hurts.. i'll have to be good now...
for my own good i guess...
it'll take time... will u still be able to tolerate this?
i doubt so.. coz i betrayed ur trust..
wadever it is... wadever my reason may be..
IT NEVER MATTERS!!!!

change? yeah... definitely need to...
just very normal friends? i cant..
a little sister maybe.. or a close friend maybe..
very normal friend... maybe the next step.. ...


thing is... you never were a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ to me...
not once at all... coz i know...
you'll never get past yourself.. the you that loves your family...
sorry that you had to lie...
sorry you had to cry...
sorry you had a hard time...
i pulled you into my kind of world..
-being alone inside...
just you dint really notice it...

i hate being alone at school...college... in the work place...
or maybe in tuition classes...
shopping mall, yeah maybe i can, but not for long....
i dont have much close friends, but the close friends that i have..
are the kind that dont give much of a damn.. wad i wana do, i do...
if i need them, they'll be there... if they need me, they'll try to get me...
i guess i seem to shut out those who wants to care for good..

wadever.. im the reason you're being criticized anyway..
same as sarah,,, but its just your case being worst...
felt that so long ago... mayb even with ju...
yeah anyway... dont knw what to say anymore... im tired too..
bt i'll be fine

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

enough of me..

im thinking too much of myself...
mayb dats why im just irritating lately..
hmmm...
nothing else i can say but..
i will be here when u need me..
even when u dont, i will still be here..
so dont give up boo

Saturday, October 16, 2010

so its been awhile...

things...almost dint really change..
but i guess..
dats bad..
its just been the 2 of us...
i guess it really was just us against the world...
bt in a bad way..
i just dont knw how to put it..
dint think that such a verse would just come out from u..
sorry u have to look at me everyday..
sorry dat the best thing i do is annoy u..
dats y u wont realy bother to answer me or talk to me much..
all we talk about is wad to do next, where to go next,
what to eat next...
nothing much about how we feel about things..
or share about feelings..

not that we dont have them to share..
just that,.. no point sharing when i knw wads going on, and u knw wads going on..
so i guess the distance is breaking us... even as friends..
yea, u hurt me today..
but i understand this feeling..
though i try to not be so boring.
i guess im predictable that u knw wad i'd do next..
so yea.. good night ..

Monday, September 20, 2010




we'll work things out..
i just made this video while u were away..
tears fell, definately..
bt its worth at least the tiniest smile on ur face when u see this..
please forgive me, and urself for wad was done wrong..
now, i trust u.. just as much as u trust me..
i will be here when you need me..

missing you badly ...

Sunday, September 19, 2010

[TUESDAY, JUNE 15, 2010

i miss u badly..

cant stop to think bout how we used to be b4 u left...
looking forward to how things will become when u get back...
coz we'll be different...
this time around, i dont want things to go wrong again...
im cherish-ing a girl that i like in a way like never before...
i like u, bt i wont try to have u...
miss u like never before... ]


re-writing this... with a different feeling,
a different situation,
a deeper meaning...
and a stronger hope it will really happen this time...
><>
happy that u are willing to make things right..
right by my side..
lets walk that road now...
thx fer waiting ahead...
im ready to sprint and pick up now...

my heart... trembles...

will u calm it down?
with anyway at all...
i need an emotional rehab...
though i should be the stronger one...
i just cant...
its just hard...
i just miss
ur heartbeat...
i just.... .... .... keep finding these excuses...
i just ..
breakdown...

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

life went on...
the little girl and the little boy did alot of stuff together..
all was good, all was fine..
the little girl took him places that he never saw..
the little boy, felt a different aura around the little girl in these places..
her memories... her past... her happiness..
it was then that the little boy realize who the little girl is...
how she was brought up...

they still will not step pass that boarder line..
though the little boy always dream of life on the other side of the line..
now , it is time for the little boy and the little girl to take another road..
leaving the boarder line further... and further...
the little boy would stop to look back at the other side..
now the picture becomes smaller..
but the little girl knows deeply..
and the little boy knows ...
that they will never go there...

i will be your friend till the end...
i will still love you for better or for worst..
and i guess.. the best way to do that,
is as your true friend...
you will always be special to me boo..

Saturday, August 14, 2010

the little boy and the little girl then went on
they were very close at heart..
and close frens like never before..
then one day..
the little girl says that she wont be more then a fren..
the little boy dint mind.
he was just sad that he dint even get to try..
though she says she hates herself too..
the little boy still cant find any reason to do the same..

he cried again..
bt she wont know..
bcoz he still wants to be her support..
even as a normal friend..
the little boy is confused..
i guess, the same goes for the little girl..

they just weren't meant to be?
or the little girl is afraid to ruin anything?
the little boy ponders..
but he says in his heart,
whatever the answer is in the little girls heart..
he will respect it and still stand by her..
because over time..
the little boy got addicted..
and deeply he kept her in his warmest home in his heart..

the little boy just wants a home with the little girl..
because only around her,
the little boy could find his motivation to do anything at all..

when the little girl said "forgive me"
the little boy couldn't stop but hate himself more..
now, he hates himself for being naive...
because he was the reason she felt sorry ...
he was the reason they felt sad..

Thursday, July 22, 2010

the little girl's bday has just gone by~
the little boy took the initiative to gather all the friends that they once knew..
along the help with some friends,
they had a nice bday party...
the girl smiled and laughed at least,
though it wasnt really a perfect suprise (coz of the poor acting from the little boy)
bt the lil girl's smile was good enough for the little boy to feel content...

now the little girl will have another bday party
from another little boy along with other friends...
true words from the heart?
little boy wonders if that other boy did better then he did..
but deep in those thoughts,
this little boy just wants the little girl to have a good time and ignore every other feeling..

there's no stand for the little boy to feel the least of jealousy or to compare..
bcoz deep inside the little boy still knows,
it might never happen..
but she allows this little boy to be close to her and understand her..
just as a friend... nothing more...
to her, its a friend that she feels she owes alot to him now..
to him~ its a love that will never happen as it is now..
to her, there might be someone new...
to him... she's meant for someone better...



probably~
just mayb, if i was realistically a boy~..
things will be different..

but realistically, im not

im just a little boy's soul...

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Heart of an apology

There was a story of a boy and a girl

the little boy is one year older then the little girl.
they met each other by the sea side.
The little girl was playing with some friends.
The little boy then walked over to them.
All of them made friends with each other.

Ever since the little boy and the little girl started to be close
The others left them and seldom played with them
The little boy said, don't worry, they will soon find out what a good friend you are
and then come back to you.
True enough, some did.
The little boy and the little girl talked to each other about everything.
The little girl will easily get depressed and emotions are unstable
But the little boy will have a hard time to sense those feelings
Despite that, the little boy would still protect the little girl
He would bring her to places she liked until they will get bored of it
The little boy would try his best to get her what she likes.
The little boy would introduce new friends from time to time.
And when they left, the little boy still tries to be there for her.

When she was sad, and he'd knew, the little boy will cuddle in from behind
and then give her a hug without saying a word.
When she was sad and he'd knew, the little boy will also make her play
so that she can keep her mind off the things that make her sad
When she was sad, and he'd knew, the little boy will try to make a fool out of himself
hoping that she will smile again~
but this time, she was unhappy because of her mother and he knew.
But the little boy made a wrong fool out of himself
by lying to her that he threw away a thing of hers.
The little girl still was calm and told him not to do that again.
When he told her the truth that he was joking,
The little girl was furious and didnt want to talk to him.
She walked away and left him sitting alone.
A few times she will come by, and when the little boy tries to apologize,
The little girl will avoid him..

The little boy wrote a few notes of apology around the shore~
on the wall, on the sand, sent her letters, and carved that apology on a rock of his heart.
Until now.. he is 20 and she is 19..
the little boy had always liked to hug her and kiss the little girl on the forehead.
but he couldnt get the chance to do it again.
until now.. He cries in his heart and promised to himself never to make the same mistake
But she still carried on with her own businesses and left him waiting at the shore alone.


Truth is i am that little boy. she is the little girl.
Like a sheep i do stupid things that makes no sense.
Like a crab she has a soft heart, but she has her own timing as well.
I will wait till you actually talk to me again, just like how the little boy in me would.
Little girl, will you please forgive me and put that joke behind?
Feels like a whole lifetime since you ignored me
The little boy's Sincerity is as pure as an uncontaminated ocean..
The little boy's heart is as warm as the sun.
I am as truly sorry as the little boy.








I'll be your cuddle and a kiss on your forehead

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

i miss u badly..

cant stop to think bout how we used to be b4 u left...
looking forward to how things will become when u get back...
coz we'll be different...
this time around, i dont want things to go wrong again...
im cherish-ing a girl that i like in a way like never before...
i like u, bt i wont try to have u...
miss u like never before...

Sunday, May 30, 2010

intergrated with things and situations that i like the most...

work, friends... family(i miss them) the one? dont know yet..
tiring after working hours...
but looking forward to get back 2 my 2nd home n have a rest...
i miss my doggie.. bosco...
sometimes..
i do think back about her...
the places we've been to..
the things we did b4...
just the moments when i would miss her...
been a while since we've talked...
wonder how she is doing now... hope everything is fine...
and... if so you are reading this now...
sorry i cant find the pictures of ur childhood... ><
and.. gud luck in ur spm examinations =)

Sunday, May 23, 2010

how would things become...

if i had an accident...
and hit my head...
and became stupid and act just like a kid or an animal...
at times i would just sit still looking into space..
at times i would sleep like there's no tomorrow...
at times i would do crazy stuff mayb with a pen or a spoon
at times i would just stand on an edge and feel the wind..

i wont be talking much...
you might not understand a word i say..
all communications of mine is down to body language..
i'll just keep quiet if u are not around..
i wont move much when u r nt beside...

at the same time... i would protect you...
at the same time... i would make you laugh...
at the same time... things i do scares u more...
at the same time... i only stick to u...


would you miss the way i used to be?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

single and loving it...

just wana be who i wana be...
that carefree fella who wont care bout love
ntg else is replacing ntg in my heart..
coz everything in my heart,
its locked... and wont be MOVED!

work -----> exam ----> family -----> friends -----> her ------> ntg else.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

how would things change into?

now.. it is just fine...
though all the little changes will change soon..
i'll pray for relationships to still b strong..
coz i dont wana miss a thing...
as for u...
nothing will change...
our situation now is just fine, just ok..
like i said before...
im not her...
i wont do what she did...
hope the reason u wana go back isnt because of me...
we'll be fine ... ^^

Sunday, May 9, 2010

i love u, but i hope things remain the same...
this moment, is perfect...
and im trying to control all the feelings within me,
trying to control myself from being me,
trying to control the feelings that might mess things up,
its hard, bt i like u too much to let this go right now...
mayb someday, when u and me are in a different situation,
hopefully someday, we'll be 2gether, but mayb someday,
we'll still be smiling back

cherishing moments with you as a friend
hope there will be more of it the next time around
that's all i ask for

Thursday, May 6, 2010

heh heh


a lil feeling from the past..
its been around 1 year..
i miss u =)

take care and good luck for your competition on monday

Thursday, April 29, 2010

its actually quite sad to see have a fren leave because of misunderstandings..

though you try to make things right...
ntg seems to go your way..
but still, deep inside, you hope that you can still be as close as before..
and yet...reality still strikes you with the fact that, time wont go back..

as for me... im sad because i lost a friend...
things are not as it seems, if only she could have got tru her own head..
everything will be better...
im not in love with anyone..
i dont wana change anyone into wad they are not..
i dont wana do things that make ppl misunderstand their tru self...
i just wana be myself, and hang out with the people that can click with me
i dont give a damn bout how others feel...
coz you dont know the real thing...
i dont give a damn...
but i do feel sad... =(

hope things can get better soon...
coz there is too many friendship getting weaker because of me..
thought that i can be a happy single...
but still.... things may b better when i am more obsessed with a lover...

i pray that a day that this can turn the other dirrection...
with a sincere heart to sum1,
i really wanted to help..
and... i dont steal or take things away...
so please dont misunderstand...

i wont bother though it is heart breaking..

Friday, April 23, 2010

complications start!
oh yea... here we go...
shawty is an eeni-meenee-mynee-mo lover... =)
hahaha...
just an update on my life..

love= no data
friends= file received
studies= 30% loading
job? = 10% loading
money= trying to syncronize.. ==

Sunday, March 28, 2010

lets think~

its time for me to really make a move..
its time for me to prove im worth something and some1..
its time for me to take a step into the real world
and deal with things in a different perspective..
i know i've been saying this for quite some time..
but this time..
i found out my main motivation..
and im gona work on it till i get my desired results..
i've been slacking out on life coz i've been in love..
but i found out...that love isnt everythings..
there's gotta be more to life then love..
yeap~
this time it will be different/
coz this time..
i've got my friends and people who really care for me..
=)
and of course.. i hope not to fall in love again~..
>< haih~~ but.... ... ...
i beter learn how to control my feelings as well..

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

u're the 1st person who wished me on my bday
u're the 1st person i met in the morning of my bday..
bt u were the last person i was thinking about at the end of 23rd march..
...
...
...
just that nobody knows..
that im stil in love with u..

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

good luck to u..
whoever that is u are thinking and posting about..
i will still be around =)
we'll be friends for a long long time..

Saturday, March 20, 2010


u were the shortest meteor star..
bt the only 1 that i managed to wish upon..
i wished...
for u
to be happy everyday..
i wished...
for me
to be able to stand by u at ur lowest..

tear drops on my guitar?
yes

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

its been a weird day
with alot of different feelings..
i prayed to God today,
for things to change in my life..
studies, money, relationships..

conflicts within my heart...
i complicated my life...
urgh... now i cant seem to wana try to get over u

明天你就要走了..
会很想你吧..
你要加油...

今天结果一个吻也没有~..
你离开房间的时刻...
就知道了....
we'll still hv a happy ending

Monday, March 15, 2010

爱密思又...
都又密思蜜2?

==
hee...just wana tell some1 dat
im starting to feel different about things
and... you're part of the reason why..
for one, im more open minded?
XD hmmmm...
you make me smile like a kid..
and you also laugh like one as well..
im going to stick a small piece of my heart on u..
and if u dont like any lil piece of it,
you can take it off and then put it back into my heart..
if u wana make it look nicer, then take each piece of it,
and mend it into a shape u desire..

if so u are to do the same and gv me a small piece of ur heart,
i'll keep them all in a box, and frame it piece by piece,
coz every moment counts...
even if ntg special happens....
every moment is special coz u're with me..
C=

喜欢一个人..
可是...
却有很多的小问题..
把问题一个一个毁灭...
感情会更深,可是
却又因此多了几个因素..
会让感情受伤...
越了解就越不爱吗?
到最后,人是重视爱,还是感情..?

我爱你,可是当时感情不深
我爱你,可是现实没有了感情
你们也有尝试过吗?

这已经离我远远...
可是...留下的
是一颗害怕的心...

Thursday, March 11, 2010



this is how i feel when u are nt around

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

i found a job as a waitress..
4.50/hr
everyday work 3 hrs, from 7-10..
is it ok? XD
they even ask me to start this weekend!!
>< howhow?
i was actually waiting for adidas to call me..
coz they hv sat. and sunday position
and mayb rm5-6/hr leh~~ ><
hmmmm.... howhow~~

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

its time for me to make a move..
i gota save myself..
im going to do it 2day..
to do the things i said, but i failed to do..
dont wana be talked about
dont wana be just a mouth
i wana see what i can do,
and see how far i can go...
God, please let me know that u are here 2day..

Monday, March 8, 2010

昨天很开心..
早上一起床就能看到你
下午也是很开心,
有你一起度过的时间,
闷热的太阳,也不怎样~...
旁晚下雨,你也在身边...
可是天黑时,见不到你...
心想着你的时候,
你的信息...
搞得我笑得象个小孩...
没想到晚餐后还能再见到你.. ><
我们一大班国宫里的人物...
去了很多地方..
我们去找田鸡,可是它家没开门..
过后想去看台戏,却又没戏好看...
到最后,我们上了小山的半身...
吃喝玩乐... 聊天说地... 吹风说笑...
真的很快乐..
我们还有许愿!!XD
这样的一天,我心满意足了..~
我不会要求什么..
只希望缘分给更多的机会..
好让我珍惜
我们一天一天的记录
在下一个雨天,热天,晴天,........

还会有你的陪伴吗?


我会在你的左右
随你而飞的徘徊

Friday, March 5, 2010

whatever...?
yet this word...
is still around...
i'll lie on the ground..
and keep myself sound..
coz i don wana go through the same pain
enjoy life =)

Thursday, March 4, 2010

i'll move on
i'll pull u along
if u feel tired,
i'll be waiting for u
if u dont feel like going on,
i'll do all i can to carry u up those steps
no matter how we will be like
no matter what relationship we have
i'll stand by u as ur fren, as ur judge,
as ur lover, as a bee, and as ur pama..

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

简简单单的生活..
一点一滴的累积..
有你在身边时..
一切都变得很简单...
那时刻的我..
没有烦恼..

早上的拥抱,你给的吻~
会是最后一次吗?
我们周围太多难提了...
最没想到的是..
我们之间...
竟然有个空洞..
没见你.. 应该没问题..
你见不到我.. 也不会怎样...

就等我们...
因为有了对放而爱...
而不是因为没爱才有对方吧...
别再因为寂寞而冲动...

Monday, March 1, 2010

他说心中还放不下过去..
他说"她"是他的第二选择..
他说...
他想找个女朋友来试着把过去忘掉...

我们...能否度过这关...
机会还蛮薄...
可是如果时间拖太久..
都还没有结局..
妮会不会离开?
妮会不会厌?
我们现在,一步一步走..
要握紧我的手哦!
别走丢了..

Friday, February 26, 2010

im falling in ....
but i like this feeling...
its hard to say
that we'll go our way..
but as long as u're with me...
come what may and let things be.. =)
will u put a smile on my face everyday?

Thursday, February 25, 2010

more and more into it,
feelings start to grow deep..
things might not seem right at this time..
but as long as u're with me..
u make it better..
coz ntg else matters..
its just a border that we're gona destroy..

faster go to bed u piggie dancer! lol... nitez...

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

miss this morning..
coz everything seemed right..

这么久以来...
心脏总会跳得快,,
因为病..
可是昨天..
感觉到心慢了下来..
人.. 也定了下来..
心定的感觉
很特别..
thx 2 u.. ><

今晚应该也会想你吧.. ^^

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

if time can stop..
then we will never learn to cherish moments that matters..
i'll learn to cherish these moments with u..
because time wont stop for any1..
i dont wana miss a thing.

Monday, February 22, 2010

it was a drastic morning..
bt a gud afternoon...
a better evening,
and a great night.. XD
nice to be around eu... =P

Sunday, February 21, 2010

我..
有个心愿..
可是
你的心..
不知朝向哪儿..
能不能显示清楚..
心,情,何处..?

要达成这个心愿
需要经历很为难的过程..
因为有个他..
都对我们很重要..
很复杂对吧?

我觉得复杂..
因为自己
还不清楚
这个心愿
到底该不该实现..
我想要的答案..
该怎么找?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

today~ pool~ movie~ pool ~ cigerete~ lil bit of alchohol~ and a tired body..
hmmmm~ wonder wad is going through my mind..
duno whether i hv the strength for 2ml..
wad if i cant wake up?
lol....
just another day in a vague emotion and feeling..
still cant understand what i want.. T.T
... im sick.. and seems like its getting worse.. XD
yeay~ ... ==


seems like im in bad condition, coz im writing crap... ~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

im back..
from the cold..
i still..
feel the sorrows..
though its better now..
i need to be tough
but how will i perform..
when i see you again..
only God knows..

ps: had a fun time in Melbourne..
will upload stuff later..XD

Sunday, February 14, 2010

its valentines..hmmm..
still..i dun get to pass dis time wit sum1 special..
i wonder..
after so many rltnships..
all of them seems to end of right before valentines..
or not long enough to pass this time..
and.. its cny as well.
for me.,...
these kinda seasons..
is my break up time..
i just dont know why..
T.T
happy valentines day to me..

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

when darkness turns to light..
it ends tonight...
so im leaving u behind...
im leaving us behind..
this time
[I'LL GET OVER YOU]

im leaving 2day..
will you find me?

Monday, February 8, 2010

these few days...
had better moods...
thx to lance == ( i cnt blive im saying dis)
lalalalala^^
he's the type that will come out for fren..
and i like dat ^^
nice to hv a fren like him...
lately oso got alot of ppl an wei me..
T.T i look dat cham meah~
thx to every1 anyway..
=)
even if my heart hurts, i'll make it through..
i hope.. >< gud nite every1..

... ... ... ... ...
tired........
of everything....

Saturday, February 6, 2010

最后能为你做的...

是让你知道我会好好过...

谢谢你让我开心...
别再让别人影响你的梦想了...
好好加油吧...


Friday, February 5, 2010

follow your heart..
dats the best way, they say..
so wad is ur heart telling u?..

im missing rainy days with happiness..
coz u were by my side

Thursday, February 4, 2010

it was a better morning..
but nt a great day..
im just starting to miss u..
more then ever before..
take your sweet time..
and dun worry bout me..
coz i hv ntg better to do..

Wednesday, February 3, 2010




whole nite i've been playing dis..
with a headache.. and a dead soul ==
i think im gona call it a day
goin to bed now.. and its only 11..
just dun wana think too much..
gud nite world..
gud nite to u too my baby..

my heart,
it is empty...
nothing goes through my mind..
except how i've been making you suffocate..
im sorry..

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

i cried...
but things wont change..
i tried....
and gave myself a second chance...
i failed...
and i failed...
failed again
did not succeed,felt the pain
now im trying harder
to be just a lil bit better..
will you gv me dat chance?
coz i dont knw what i'll do anymore...

its 12.25am..
my head hurts..
something don't feel right 2day..
hate this feeling... but what can i do..
it just hurts..
now...trying to ignore this pain..
i knw its my fault somehow..
i just cant seem to change..
and u might leave me for the same reason..
just like most of them did...
... ... ...
i hate myself sometimes..
for being as control freak as i am..
but of coz.. im still in the process of being better..
... it just seems so unfair sometimes..
they say.. treat ppl the way u wan to be treated..
but hell.. its nt true at all..
anyway..
dis morning help my grandma make keropok!
^^ she reli got old, muz take gud care of her..
and as for my day.. it sucks...
it really sucks..
off to bed now.. coz i wana end this feeling early..
[turn off the pain please]

Saturday, January 30, 2010

its still kinda sad..
to see what you saw..
don't know whether u're used to it..
i hope not...
coz baby, its still tearing me apart
you know how you are with the decisions u make
you can say yes for a minute
and regret the next hour..
baby... please...
you know how much i love u
and you know how i would feel..
y wont u stop turning to her page?
ur's seems to be the same for such a LONG time..
and mine...
just filling in the sorrows that i had..
but u dont seem to know..
how exactly i feel..
you just dont seem to wana know..

Thursday, January 28, 2010

these few days,,'
im becoming lazy and more lazy..
sob.....
just feel like staying at home and rest ...
lol... and and... == kinda start to feel like driver...
hmmmm... i wonder y...
anyway, baby is bz wit cheer nw..
and she has exams going on..
ganbateh dear! ^^
i started my classes..
but hope things will get better,,
for one... the parking system is giving me a headache..
sob... and... haih... i just dont knw wad i should say,, ==
... T.T god bless my soul..

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

hmmm... today~
fetch mum out to c doctor in the morning..
then went back home..
after awhile... at 11am like dat,
went to titiwangsa to pick up wen bin~..
lol, so long din c him..
then we went for pool table game, and yam cha awhile..
was waiting for my mum to call
so i can pick her up from the station,..
instead... a call came.
and its my baby~ ><
she sounded veli rushy~ and abit panic..
ask me to go fetch her cheer team to her hse area..
lol... so.. i drop wenbin at lrt, and then went to her school
..... there was another driver besides me...
hmmmmm~ they practiced...
and then.... baby planned to fetch them home..
and.... she said to yam cha wit wei hua after.. ==
i was like... "yam cha~?!" ...
coz i was thinking.. practice whole day,
morning she gt exam oso...
and then still wana yam cha..
..
well.. in the end... they just went to the mamak store,,
ish!
and.... my car car.. T.T haih...
feel so sorry for my car..
hv to send to change the clutch..
>< i wont put my leg on the clutch for no reason next time..
T.T wana take care of my car
lol.... well..
i'll get it bec tomolo afternoon.. =)
and.. == i need to go to the dentist also..
T.T
hate hate... haih..
feeling kinda pening now.. and feel like gona fever jor..
duno y... mayb coz din sleep well lately..
sob~~

baby baby...
dun stress urself too much yar..
lougong will always be by ur side..
^o^
love eu much much

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

update~~
>< so long din write le...
hmmmmm~ baby is bz wit her sukan thing lately..
bz wit cheer~
lol, later im gona help her make pom poms
=) and, she stays at home more often now..
spm is dis year, and all she needs to focus on now
is studies, exams, cheer, and her health..
== i dun think the last 1 she will care..
lol
and as for me
staying at home and becoming FAT
omg ><
gosh, i need to get out and do exercise more
lol, which is kind of impossibe..
just hope everybody stays healthy..
coz i knw when CNY is here, alot of ppl will start to get sick..
lol...
going out to pick baby now..~chaoz

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

well, to alot of friends, and my baby
[you're back in school,muahaha
dont worry guys, studies will be great]

for me, im still on holiday..
actually, i dont know what i've been doing,,
kinda slacking now.. haih..
what should i do?
i think its time for me to draw out some plans
and some alternatives for my life.
for one, i hvnt touched my instruments for SO long...
T.T sowi babies [guitar and piano]

hmmmm..
well,im off to sleep now..
hope something exciting happens soon..
God~ pls give me more troubles so i can grow..
true from the heart >< amen! XD
nite everybody~~