i hate this part

i've been reducing what i've been doing
i need to do this slowly
you dint give me time to do dat
all you gave was limitations

come back before this and that
all these just makes me not wana come back at all
i reli wish i were a boy
dat way i dun hv to give a damn
even if im in a wreck, even if my room was messy
i wont be hearin no more of "you're a messy girl"
"you're the laziest girl i've seen"
fucked up with what you have to say

yea? what happen to those triumphs i've earned?
you just put it all in one cold site
the 1st thing you said when i wanted to keep a puppy
no!
the 1st thing you said when i wanted to learn taekwando
no!
the 1st thing you said when i wanted a laptop
no!
the 1st thing you said when i told you about herbalife
dont ask us to buy!

a friend told me i give up too easily..
but what do i get when i try even hardeR?
more disappointment..
practically in everything i do..

fuck everything
so what if i dress up like a guy?
aren't i not still your child?
so what even if i reli like girls..
does it mean i dont deserve to be me?

i've tried to talk to my mother about things..
but what she does to things she know?
like my sister's case
my mother told the whole earth.

i tried to tell a church..
but what do they do?
tell my family instead of trying to help me personally..
i tried to tell my sis
bt it seems that she's facing more then i am..
who else can i tell?
just my friends ...

just like me, my friends tell me things..
just like me they face problems..
coming out to talk about things
dats no crime..

.......and bla bla bla~ i can go on forever..
i can even start when i was 5 years old..
but fuck it.. its no use..
i'll just find my own joy..
...........