emotional conflict?

if only this blog could write back to me and tell me what to do...

maybe it will be happier. .

I'm just here...
lying in the dark side of it...

thinking about the light... and the shadow that comes with it...

just another night

u went through my mind

just another day

living with what i couldnt say

just another sight

of ur happiness ignite

just a single wound

yet still and deep it stood

just a glimpse of your smile

would be worth the while

im sorry I couldn't withstand

sorry I didn't understand

yet again, i miss you

though tears wont fall for you

my heart still yerns for your return

i knw it will never happen

that is why.. ..

all i can cherish, is my memory of you

how u held me towards you..

before...

the best i ever had

almost everyday..
its almost every day that i get to see you?

you used to see me once or twice, and thought it was nice..

now you get to see me everyday..

but feel half instead of twice?
things turned the other way around..

now i'm wearing a frown

i don't know what to do?

i cant see myself better

studies are a big mess ~ yet again

feelings becomes regrets ~ without gain

money or what not ~ i don't really feel the pain

dilemma?

sher... 

im not all perfect no one is

to catch your attention? im saying please

i know how its like to work in a group

but i've never thought..
i'd feel so many things all at once

2night? i feel it too..

that you needed her affection... hmm~ =(

so all i can do...

just keep it in

maintain in my mystery

continue to sin

i'll leave some space in my memory of you

to imagine that I'm in yours too

remember how you used to love burlesque..

and u'd dream about it after the movie...

yeah,i remember how your eyes glittered and it was magic

it was magic to see that moment

bounded to these memories I am..

dont know what is going on..

you dont seem to care that i am acting this way?

and i dont really seem to care if you do...

mayb i like u, bt its not enough?

even when our plans get canceled

its like... that's alright...

sorry.. it should be my problem

i've never felt this insecure before..

i've never been so unsure..

what's next??

should we go on? should we stop?

what do you think?

i dont want to hurt you more if i had already done so..

i know, i put this onto myself.

i treated you differently than the way i should

i dont know why i am acting this way

it never really happened before

and i hate lies

so dont lie to me, it just makes me hate you more

你穿高跟累了 我背你

你鞋带松了 我来绑

你想结婚 我来娶

你不想吃饭了 我来喂

你想睡觉 我来抱
你生气 我来哄

你想白头到老 我陪你

你变黄脸婆 我要你

你想我爱你 可以 只要我们不嫌弃对方

每个付出一点点 我们不需要什么天长地久

只要每天都活在对方的心里

那么我们

就不会分开了

sorry that i loved and hurt you

from a little boy, to a little girl

a diff life, diff interests...

diff styles, diff language preference

diff social interests..

but its kinda new...

taking time to know you..

wonder what you feel about me?

你需要笑 我会做傻瓜 逗你笑

你需要陪伴 我的时间留给你

你需要哭 衣服肩膀任你燕

你需要买东西 眼光意见创意可以跟我借

你枕头不舒服 手臂留胖让你趟

你睡不着 我拍拍哄你入梦

你睡着后 我离开

你没心情 带你吃喝玩乐 散散心

你热 我会打包teh ais给你喝

你冷 可以找我取温

你跌倒 我笑你

你站得起了 我夸奖

你要唱歌 我陪你兜风在车唱够够

电梯坏 我愿背你上天台

不会让你跌下来

愿做个人体风散

愿做个朋友

愿做个陪伴

愿做个沙包

愿做个电车

愿做个枕头

愿做个棉被

愿做个打扫工人

只要你开声

可是再愿意 也只能在旁看守

不再让你看眼泪 还

能留住一点的自尊

你看见我过得开心 还能留住友情

我这个朋友 愿意做以上的一切

你 会为我鼓励吗？

我们一起成长吧

放手

這種戀愛太罕有
不須真正擁有　
成全　
衷心祝福然後　
就放手

放手　
放開所有　
彼此更自由　
放手　
其實我絕非愛得不夠　

放手　
豁出所有　
還有這個好友　
已經　
已經足夠

dont warm up my car just to send u for ur meeting on time..

crawl out of bed to hang cloths and u fall asleep

just tahan my lust to make it for lunch with you...

im still around when u dont want me there

u never want to reply chit-chat comments of mine

i have to act like i dont give a damn, just so u wont get mad

Asking you some simple questions is like hell for u!

wanting to have a friendly conversation with you is a mission impossible

IM A BORING PERSON now!!!

yeah new friends, fine... frens intro new guy frens is not fine for me

i guess u know well the reason why it isnt fine...

coz u will have an official someone... and it sucks

some ask y not just make a move?

I CANT BECAUSE IM NOT A BOY!!!!!!!

FFFFFFuuuuuuuuuCCCCCCCkkkkkkkkk IIIIIIIIIIttttttttttttttttttt AAAAAALlllRRReeeeeaaaadyyyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYY

YOU WONNNNNTTTT GIIIIVVEEEEEEE MUCHHHH OFFFFFF A DAAMMMNNN ABBBBOOOUUUUUTTTT MEEEEEEEE!!!

insomnia

no longer going back to you..

so true.. u left that day u turned ur back and never looked back..

bt ended up crying on the other side of this place.. .

sorry...

i just cant stop myself from crying listening to that song..

i know well that is wad u wish to say to me..

u wished for a long long time..

i just wana stay longer in the dream and never wake up..

i thought... really thought that it could happen..

but i was wrong after all..

and all i can do is love u as how we are..

as frens...

i will move on, will be strong..

coz i knw the guilt you feel..

will never make u smile..

sorry it took so long for me to really make this 1st step..

now i just want to be ur comfort... thats all..

最后的疼爱,是手放开.. finally knw this meaning..

love u for better and worst, we will be very fine..

little boy.. will grow up now..

so lets give it our all

and is the last i will write about any of it..

coz u might never ever read things bout me anyway?

bt if u do... please know, that, it is nothing that i will regret..

and deep down, u are important and special to me..

if i could sing away these sadness...

i would sing till my voice leaves me...

if i could write away all the blues...

i'd already be writting something that i dont have a clue of..

coz its in other languages...

if i could faint, and leave the pain,,

i'd swallow so many kinds of pills..

if losing my memory would get u off my mind,

i'd stand infront of a moving bus..

if making myself bleed would do,

i'd already be dead by now..

bcoz nothing i do can make me forget you..

and nothing you do will stop me frm loving you..

no if...

no if not...

there is just a truth..

and truth is our hearts are broken again..

why must it happen again?!

... ... ...

its really really killing me...

bagaimana caranya untuk merntuhkan kerasnya hatimu?

U ARE STILL BEING THE SAME!!!!
CAN U JUST FUCK OFF ALREADY?!
aren't you tired? im sick of u! and please STOP this shit!

wadever!

was just gona approve the request tonite..

but its u who never like to admit that u are unable to...

for a fren who once was a fren, and treated me like an enemy

just because a guy said bad about me//

and for a fren who seriously misundrstd me...

wadever already

you still hold grudge..

and never want to let go!

if all i said above is wrong,.. then prove it..

im tired to see things go through the same way..